Life In Scottsdale

Well, in between harassing me about various non-crimes that I didn’t commit, the Scottsdale PD has arrested the guy responsible for this.  In their defense, they are always very nice to me when they are wasting my tax dollars bothering me about nonsense.  The killer apparently lived in West Phoenix.  Which brings me back to the line of thought: why are people from West Phoenix coming to Scottsdale at night, with guns, and picking fights.  I’m all for Scottsdale having a great nightlife, but it doesn’t have to be thuglife.

Sandalo is an overpriced condo stuck in the ghetto that is known as the SW corner of Shea and Scottsdale Road.  Surrounded by a slightly run down high school and tons of old, ugly, and cheap condo/apartments, I can’t believe how much they are asking for these units.  One of the great phenomenons of Scottsdale is a Walgreens parking lot.  You can be in the nicest part of the city, but if you go to the nearest Walgreens, you are certain to find all sorts of shady people on the payphone and lounging in the parking lot.  I haven’t figured out what goes on here, but I don’t care for it. 

I’m certain of this: in a year, the Sandalo Condos will be selling for $100k less than they are now.   No one wants to pay 400k for a 2 bedroom adjacent to a drug store.  Something tells me that the people who did buy these places didn’t drive around the neighborhood.

Check out this crime map of the Shea & Scottsdale intersection.  This is from the Scottsdale government’s own website.  You can see that there is more crime at this intersection than in the rest of Scottsdale combined!  Sexual assault, robbery, assault, oh my!  And this is just for the past 60 days.

Looking for a good time, a way to ease the pain of living, or if you just want to fire a machine gun, check out the Scottsdale Gun Club.  Its a very non-intimidating environment, other than the workers seeming to feel a compulsory desire to carry a gun in a visible holster.  But everyone is friendly, and they’ll teach you everything you need to know.  The place seems extremely safe, with bulletproof walls, glass, protected rooms for shooting, etc.  I don’t see much room for an acident, although when you are standing around 10 people with guns there is always a higher probability of someone randomly deciding to shoot you in the head.  About 10 minutes after I walked in the door for the first time ever I was wearing headphones and goggles and holding an M5 machine gun.  I bought 3 clips for $12 each, and fired away.  Sadly, the entire experience only lasted about 5 minutes because you can empty a large clip very quickly with a machine gun.  After the gun rental and the bullets, I probably spent $50 or $75.  It was expensive, but man, if you have never fired a machine gun, it’s quite an experience.  One thing I advise for first timers: get a 9mm gun.  It’s much quieter and less abrassive - there is virtually no kickback.

You can visit their site at www.scottsdalegunclub.com

To me, anyway, since I will never see him again. 

 To be more precise, Tucker’s TV show was cancelled.  I love Tucker — he is a libertarian leaning conservative who is for small government, low taxes, and social liberties.  His show was on my TIVO and I watched it every day — although I usually couldn’t make it through the entire show.  As much as I like Tucker as a person and his views on life and on politics, he just didn’t run the best show.  It was, sadly, a bit boring.  What is Tucker going to do now?  No one knows.  His last two shows (before this was Crossfire, where he was forced to play the ultra-conservative, thus turning much of America permanently against him) were cancelled.  Will he get a 3rd show?  Does he want a 3rd show?  Tucker, if you are reading, please move to Scottsdale and work for me!

One of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life, and a good friend.  Check out all his crazy accomplishments at (censored due to threats made to me) - including building a huge garage in his backyard and thus making him the most hated neighbor in the history of neighbors.  Other accomplishments: making the most pimped out cadillac ever (hydraulics included), adding an engine to a honda civic hatchback so that it goes 150 mph, rolling it 10 times and living, building an arcade video game system so cool that (censored) minutes fawning over how smart he was, and much more.  Alex, you are the man.  I’m proud to be your friend.

If you live in Scottsdale, do not sign up for Qwest DSL.  I’m begging you.  I use their service for my business and for my house, and it simply couldn’t be worse.  The business DSL doesn’t go down all that often, but when it does, we really suffer.  My home DSL, on the other hand, is down at least 2-3 days per week, and has been for the past month.  The same goes for all my neighbors who have Qwest.  On the other hand, my neighbor with Cox Cable High Speed Internet hasn’t lost his service in years.

Update: Pictures of Artesia available here: http://lifeinscottsdale.org/2008/04/05/artesia-pictures/

Update 2: Earth to Artesia builders: Put some pictures on your site!

I walked through one of these places today. Simply gorgeous.

“At Soma our mission is to redefine the way a company can interact with today’s active consumer through a community-based network of stores that focus on great food, coffee & nutrition shakes and act as each community’s center for information on health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.”

 Well now!!  That is quite an ambitious mission statement.  I wish you the best, because I love your food and your coffee.  But I wonder, is a nutritional shake really worth the focus of your mission in the world?  That is not for me to say.  I found it unusual, but then again, I have a smoothie 7 days a week, so maybe I should reevaluate.

The Soma Cafe is a pretty popular place a little bit along the lines of Pita Jungle.  It’s food is more traditional (they actually have a hamburger).  There is definitely an emphasis on healthy food.  The burger comes standard with an Avocado, and they have things like high protein oatmeal, multi-grain pancakes with whole wheat flour, oats, and flaxseeds, and eggs with 99% fat free turkey bacon.  I’m always happy to find a restaurant that cares about healthy food, because I hate cooking and I love eating well.  High speed Internet is available.  Another bonus of the Soma Cafe is that they seems to hire only 17-21 year old cute girls and the company is tight pajamas.  Great coffee, too.  If you are a guy, I would not go here with your girlfriend.  I always get yelled at for staring at the workers.  Oh, I forgot to mention: It’s affordable, casual, and located at the NW corner of Tatum and Shea.

Their website is here: http://www.somacafe.com/

Homeowned place by a lady from Romania, although the restaurant seems French.  It’s tucked in the back of Seville Plaza, next to the Roys Seafood place (great but very expensive).  Anyway, I used to live in Traviata so I have known about Crepes and Bakes for a while.  I love the fact that the owner actually cooks every meal herself.  It’s only open from around 6 am to 3 pm 6 days a week, but its just good.  Not expensive, either.

Pita Jungle is great.  I think it started in Tempe, but there is one at the Northeast Corner of Shea & Scottsdale Road where I go all the time.  Everyone is friendly (aside from one awful waitress — if you see a girl with dreadlocks coming your way, ask for another table.  I get the distinct feeling that this girl spits in food for fun.  I always enjoy leaving her a 6% tip.).  Anyway, the place has a casual, hippieish feel, which is unusual in Scottsdale.  The place is always packed, and the food is great.  The food is Mediterranean and they seem to cater to vegetarians, although there is plenty of fish and chicken on the menu.  Strangely, they offer 3 styles of vegetarian hamburger but not a real hamburger. 

I enjoy writing, even if I am not a particularly talented writer.  Nevertheless, I am capable of using the written word to convey what I want to say.  I’ve been living in Scottsdale for a few years, and I thought I would start writing about my life online.  It will stay anonymous, for now, because I feel that I can write more openly about my personal life this way.  Scottsdale is a great place to live.  The summers are brutal, real estate slightly overpriced, and culture is not exactly in the air.  But I love Scottsdale.  People are incredibly friendly, life is easy, the weather is good, and the women are beautiful.